Knowing when to let go (by Jeff Schrembs)

Someone asked me today about marriage and moving on.
This is a subject that is bittersweet, difficult, and emotionally draining for me to discuss.

I’ve always believed that when a relationship ends that I wish all parties the ability, and the strength, to; move on, get their mind right, make changes in themselves for the better, learn from their mistakes, and have time to truly heal…and recover.

A relationship that allows distrust, anger, hurtful acts, etc. to fester is one that is doomed to fail. Sometimes it starts as an argument. Sometimes in the discovery of the written word. Other times it is when one person is not given what they need. Far too many times it is a failure to listen. To act. To communicate openly that includes everything that has transpired.

I’ve known the beauty of love. The effortless way that two people work in harmony. The very real feelings that are unmatched by anyone before….or after.

When do you know when to let go? I pondered that question and I came up with an answer that was  my truth and based upon my reflections and my life.

My answer was “when the other person desires to fly”. When they desire to find another.

The follow up question was “doesn’t the other person have a say?”. Yes I responded but sometimes a relationship is toxic and/or so painful that the only thing worse than leaving…is to stay.

As I made it clear that I didn’t want to continue this discussion I was asked one final question. It was “can a relationship that was good for so long and then deteriorated be reaffirmed”? That question caused me great pain(s) to answer so I respectfully declined other than to say “the person I loved stopped to exist – she changed – she longed for things outside of the marriage – she aligned herself with a world void of me – she asked things of me in public but acted contrary in private – she broke my heart”.

And yet I still hope, and pray, that she will find happiness. That whatever she was looking for she found. That she is happy with her decisions. That she is granted; happiness, good health, long life, and stability. That when she looks in the mirror, and/or reflects upon her decisions, that she likes what she sees and likes what she has become.

Each relationship is different. Though the parties lived through it their ideas, and memories, of what caused the relationship to end may be different. Their goals in life may have changed entirely. If I knew these answers then I wouldn’t be typing on a blog I would put it in print and the sales would rival “Fifty shades of grey”.

Fortunately there are positive outlets that are far removed from these difficult questions and the memories that are embedded in our mind, our heart, and in our soul.

I love this song and this video. I love the passion. And I wanted to share it.

Take care and may God bless you all.

MAN CARD (by Jeff Schrembs)

Well, well, well.

It seems, based upon the email(s), that my Rule # 2 (aka: description of women) contained in my article entitled “Rules for possessing a MAN CARD” hit a “nerve” with some “non-males”.

What part of Note: If you are female STOP READING NOW, which was the first line in my article, was unclear?

In full disclosure I LOVE women and I think most men would agree that women can be..,complicated. I don’t mean mathematical complications I mean Rubic Cube complicated. I mean infinity times ten complicated. I mean the Matrix Movies complicated. You get it. I know you do.

However, this article was for…men. I said it. Men.

Something only for men you ask? Answer = yes hence the title using the term “MAN CARD”. It’s a card for (real) men. No, it’s not a oxymoron. Let’s move along.

By the way what stalker methodology enabled so many “non-males” to decipher my personal email? I would hate to think that some of you are using basic technology to find me in this digital world.

Oh yeah, to those of you who emailed me (and FYI anonymous Gmail accounts are a “dime a dozen”) and then were brazen enough to ask if my Facebook photo was current and/or if it was really me would you really think that with a last name like Schrembs that I could get away with a fake self pic? Who does that?

Back to my point.

Who would object to being described as a combination of “Unicorns + Tinsel + Michelangelo”?
In the long past my bedtime, been up for more than 24 straight hours, sad, trying to distract moment whereby I decided to write an article I believe that my words painted a beautiful canvas that MEN would understand.

Verbatim (actually forget that verbatim stuff because I left off the first two lines because it is                              S    E    C   R   E  T “man stuff”) I said, in Rule # 2, that It’s a given that we don’t understand women so just nod your head, act like you are listening, and remember every other sentence they say should they “test” you. Women are complicated creatures so let’s think of them as a combination of; unicorns  (note: you are not to ever use the word “unicorn” other than if it is part of a bedtime story), tinsel, and paintings by Michelangelo. Unicorns as they are “magical and elusive creatures”. Tinsel as they are ‘sparkly”. Michelangelo because they are; beautiful, have depth, and are timeless”.

What woman doesn’t want to be thought of as “magical” or “beautiful” and/or “timeless”? Oh, I know. The less than 1% negative email authors (as the other 99% of emails I got ranged from “I love it” to “great story” to “right on” to “hilarious”).

With that said I wanted to issue this article as opposed to randomly answering emails.
Thus the lesson I’ve learned, and boy have I learned a lot these past few years, is that when one puts their thoughts out there the reactions run the gamut.

Nonetheless I wish everyone, including Budda– who was so kind to send me a series of  “semi-nude webcams” every 8 hours since I posted my original article, a MERRY CHRISTMAS 2012.

Until next time.

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