Knowing when to let go (by Jeff Schrembs)

Someone asked me today about marriage and moving on.
This is a subject that is bittersweet, difficult, and emotionally draining for me to discuss.

I’ve always believed that when a relationship ends that I wish all parties the ability, and the strength, to; move on, get their mind right, make changes in themselves for the better, learn from their mistakes, and have time to truly heal…and recover.

A relationship that allows distrust, anger, hurtful acts, etc. to fester is one that is doomed to fail. Sometimes it starts as an argument. Sometimes in the discovery of the written word. Other times it is when one person is not given what they need. Far too many times it is a failure to listen. To act. To communicate openly that includes everything that has transpired.

I’ve known the beauty of love. The effortless way that two people work in harmony. The very real feelings that are unmatched by anyone before….or after.

When do you know when to let go? I pondered that question and I came up with an answer that was  my truth and based upon my reflections and my life.

My answer was “when the other person desires to fly”. When they desire to find another.

The follow up question was “doesn’t the other person have a say?”. Yes I responded but sometimes a relationship is toxic and/or so painful that the only thing worse than leaving…is to stay.

As I made it clear that I didn’t want to continue this discussion I was asked one final question. It was “can a relationship that was good for so long and then deteriorated be reaffirmed”? That question caused me great pain(s) to answer so I respectfully declined other than to say “the person I loved stopped to exist – she changed – she longed for things outside of the marriage – she aligned herself with a world void of me – she asked things of me in public but acted contrary in private – she broke my heart”.

And yet I still hope, and pray, that she will find happiness. That whatever she was looking for she found. That she is happy with her decisions. That she is granted; happiness, good health, long life, and stability. That when she looks in the mirror, and/or reflects upon her decisions, that she likes what she sees and likes what she has become.

Each relationship is different. Though the parties lived through it their ideas, and memories, of what caused the relationship to end may be different. Their goals in life may have changed entirely. If I knew these answers then I wouldn’t be typing on a blog I would put it in print and the sales would rival “Fifty shades of grey”.

Fortunately there are positive outlets that are far removed from these difficult questions and the memories that are embedded in our mind, our heart, and in our soul.

I love this song and this video. I love the passion. And I wanted to share it.

Take care and may God bless you all.
 

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